Friday, March 30, 2012

Coming Home


Tom crested the hill and sighed with relief as he got his first glimpse of the farmstead. The walk out here had been more painful and taken longer than anticipated. He could have asked nearly anyone in town for a ride, but had walked instead. It had been six years since he’d seen her last and bringing someone else along hadn’t seemed proper.  

He hoped the years had been kind to her. They’d been inseparable back in high school. She hadn’t been much to look at even back then, but she was his. She had a strength and reliability to her that meant more to him than looks. She deserved better than the way they’d parted.

He’d joined the Guard for extra cash, not to get sent off to Iraq. He’d be gone a year at most and then they’d be together again. When he returned, he’d have the money to make a lot of their problems go away. That had been the plan, but things don’t always turn out as planned.

He saw her on the edge of the woods by the old fence line. It was as if she hadn’t moved from the spot where he’d waved goodbye to her that spring morning.  So much time forever gone, but he was home now. They need never be apart again.

He stopped and massaged his leg before heading down to see her. The sleek black titanium limb was still taking some getting used to but, in time, he knew he would. With an ironic smile, he reflected how fitting it was that neither one of  them still had all their original parts any more. 

Author's note: This story was written for the Friday Fictioneers weekly writing challenge. The challenge caters to stories of approximately 100 words or so. Anyone familiar with my writing knows I can bring a story in dead on at nearly any word count imaginable. The photo this week planted an idea in my head of a tale I wanted to tell regardless of word count. All I can say is that, sometimes, the Muse wants what He wants and sometimes I indulge him. 

10 comments:

  1. I'm glad you exceeded the words--it was worth it for a great story. And thanks for commenting on mine.

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  2. I agree with Maggie, it was worth the extra words. There's a lot to this story and I think it should maybe be expanded on and added to, rather than subtracted from.

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  3. It took me a moment to figure out that this was about a guy and his truck. It's beautifully done. Here is mine: http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/03/flash-fiction-grand-dads-truck.html

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  4. Awesome. I loved the ending. I sure hope the truck started for him.

    Mine at http://shirleymccann.blogspot.com/2012/03/fitting-end.html

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  5. This was great, Jeffrey. I liked the love he feels for the old truck and the understanding of "not original parts". Fun tale.

    Here's mine:
    http://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2012/03/his-old-chevy-100words-for.html

    Siobhan

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  6. I'm happy that he returned safe and (mostly) in one piece. Thanks for sharing.

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  7. A lovely story. If I'd been reading this without the knowledge of the photo prompt, and there'd been a reveal at the end, it would have been even more effective. Nice one, well-crafted.

    http://www.castelsarrasin.wordpress.com

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  8. Jeffrey, Glad you muse prodded you beyond the 100 word limit--great story. I especially liked the "neither one of them had all their original parts." Good job!

    Mine: www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html

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  9. Dear Jeffrey,

    The most telling part of your story, and one whose meaning can easily slip by unnoticed amidst all the other poignant sentences, is where he walks all the way out to see her instead of availing himself of a ride. Just not right. Very well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/pure-coincidence/

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  10. Great story Jeffrey, and I liked the part about neither of them having original parts anymore.

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