Another day of leaden gray skies and the frigid,
ever-rising waters led Calvin to the inescapable conclusion this would, in all
likelihood, be his last day of life before succumbing to the ravages brought on
by the gigantic and entirely merciless meteor that had struck the planet.
His roots no longer brought him the nutrients he needed
to, if not flourish, at least survive and he’d nearly forgotten how glorious it
had felt to bask in the energizing warmth of morning sunshine.
He supposed, as trees went, he’d had a pretty good run
of it but never imagined he would end his existence in such a dismal and lonely
manner. In the prime of his health, he’d watched, helplessly, as the wee
saplings lost the very tenuous hold their young roots provided and were swept
away only to be followed into oblivion by the stately and aged who had no
desire to remain in a world such as this and thus surrendered to a dreamless sleep
from which they would never awaken.
Feeling the final spark of sentience fading from him,
Calvin reckoned that, most of all, he would miss the children who’d laughed and
played in the scenic wonder of the park that he and his brethren had called
home and, with his last bit of strength, he prayed that wherever he was
destined to spend his afterlife the children might be there too.
This story was written for the weekly Five Sentence Fiction prompt: Flawed

A lovely piece of work. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
ReplyDeleteReally well put, I loved the sentience of the tree! (coincidentally I'm using emotion from a tree in my NaNoWriMo effort!) Lovely structure and feeling in this piece.
ReplyDeleteThat was lovely. Really nice work.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
W.
Moving and nicely paced. Not at all wooden.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe I've ever read anything from the PoV of a tree before. Very imaginative, and you carried it off well.
Cheers!
JzB
Thinking from the perspective of a tree is a very interesting thought exercise. You've come to some really interesting ideas.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite line: "gray skies and the frigid, ever-rising waters" As a reader, it's great to start with a crisp visual like this.
Some critique-y stuff: Can more be left unsaid? For example, "ravages brought on by the gigantic and entirely merciless meteor that had struck the planet." Without this line, the mystery of the apocalypse carries a greater draw for me.
Trees are my favorite things. They tell a story with each twist of their branches. I love that you chose this direction with your sentences :)
ReplyDeleteA beautifully written, sad tale.
ReplyDeleteI loved the idea of a tree having an afterlife - an interesting thought.
Thought provoking and lovely - in its sad and wistful way.
ReplyDeleteThought provoking and lovely - in its sad and wistful way.
ReplyDeleteYou had me at trees!
ReplyDeleteBeutifully written, I love that you gave the tree a name and an identity.
ReplyDelete